


Q: Why is a Raven is Like a Writing Desk? | A: Because the Higher Up You Go, the Fewer There Are

by lizardhair



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Gotham rogues - Fandom
Genre: hes not dead just having a bad day, i love giving short fics long titles, rip jervis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-22 20:20:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15589962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizardhair/pseuds/lizardhair
Summary: Jervis Tetch needs a particular chemical. Unfortunately, Jonathan Crane needs it as well.





	Q: Why is a Raven is Like a Writing Desk? | A: Because the Higher Up You Go, the Fewer There Are

The Mad Hatter dashed around the corner, chest heaving.  _ “Crane, stop, I beg of you!” _ His voice was high-pitched and trembling with terror.

 

“Only if you give me the vial, Tetch,” came Jonathan Crane’s response, echoing out of the darkness. “You know that I need what’s inside in order to perfect my experimental toxin.”

 

Jervis heard footsteps approaching and he ran faster, grasping his hat in one hand and the case containing the vial in the other.  _ Exit, exit, where is the bloody exit? _ He took a right and found himself in another long white hallway, dimly light and sterile. “I-I need it too, C-Crane! M-my cards n-need a chemical component a-and--!”

 

_ “Stop your whimpering, fool,” _ Jonathan hissed as he swung his scythe down at Jervis. Hatter shrieked and fell back, barely avoiding the cruel blade. The case tumbled from his hands and skidded into the shadows.

 

Hatter made a dash for it, only to feel red-hot agony slicing across his calf. With a cry Jervis crashed to the tiled floor, trouser leg already soaked in blood. The scent sickened him, and he fought to keep his bile down. Jervis heard Jonathan’s dry laugh from behind him; but there was no real humor in it, only mockery. Jervis clutched his injured leg, panting, as Crane drew closer.

 

“My sincere apologies, Jervis,” Jonathan said dispassionately as he knelt down besides the quivering Hatter. “I didn’t want to cut so deep, but I  _ told _ you that I needed that vial, now didn’t I?” Another cold laugh. “If you want, I can put you in contact with a fairly reputable back-alley doctor who’ll be able to stitch you right--” Jonathan stopped dead as his face suddenly went blank.

 

Jervis took a gasping breath and dragged himself backwards. His sleight of hand had worked on the already-distracted professor, and there was now a 3/8 card tucked behind Crane’s left ear. Jervis tried to ignore the the pain shooting through his leg as he pushed himself to a standing position.  _ Now wherever has that vial gone?  _ He took a few cautious steps, blood dripping onto the white tiles, but Jervis managed to keep his footing while he hobbled around in search of the case. 

 

“I’m terribly sorry about the hypnosis, Jonathan, but you were acting an absolute  _ Bandersnatch.” _ Jervis shook his head as he resettled his hat upon it. “It will wear off about 20 minutes after I remove the card, and I beseech you not to pursue...me...” Jervis trailed off, and a moment later, his heart dropped into his stomach. 

 

Crane was  _ moving. _ It should have been impossible, but as the man raised a hand and removed the card from behind his ear, Jervis understood.

 

_ “Scarecrow,” _ breathed Hatter.

 

_ “Yes, child,” _ said the being, rising to his feet. Scarecrow studied the card for a moment, then slipped it into some inner pocket.  _ “You say that Jonny is asleep for 20 minutes?” _

 

“Y-y-yes,” stuttered Jervis. Hatter could feel himself beginning to hyperventilate, and it worsened as Scarecrow picked up his scythe.

 

Scarecrow’s face split into a wide, sharp grin that revealed far too many teeth.  _ “Good. That’s more than enough time to punish you for hurting my boy.” _

 

Mad Hatter barely had time to scream before Scarecrow was upon him.

 

**Author's Note:**

> A short and not-so-sweet fic ;)
> 
> Find me on tumblr @lizard-hair


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